August 2010
1 post
15 tags
Apocalypse How?
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* 11) And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.
16) And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads.
17) And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
18) Here...
May 2010
1 post
5 tags
Superhyperinflation Just Around The Corner
A Looming Doom Economic Collapse Brief
The Looming Doom has learned leading experts are advising the Obama Administration that the U.S. is poised to experience the most painful economic cycle of all: the Super-Hyper-Inflation Trauma (SHIT). While there is yet slight division amongst the experts as to whether the U.S. is already in SHIT or not, once the U.S. is fully in deep SHIT, there is no...
March 2010
4 posts
10 tags
Experts Say Humans Extinct By August
A Looming Doom Exclusive
It’s time to finalize any of life’s ‘loose ends’ say experts who are sounding the alarm that the growing usage of wireless technologies will lead to the extinction of Humanity before the end of August. “When you consider that the technology being deployed for our wireless utilities is closely related to a microwave oven, the sudden hue and...
5 tags
Methane Will Burn The Earth To A Cinder
Following the news this week that methane – a potent greenhouse gas - is being released from the seabed at a rate faster than previously anticipated, researchers scrambling to recalibrate climate models have stumbled upon a massive reservoir of methane hitherto undiscovered. The ramifications of such a large volume of the explosive gas being suddenly released are nothing short of catastrophic....
3 tags
God Declares Free Agency
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In a surprise move, God has declared an intention to pursue Free Agency in front of the upcoming Holy Season. In a prepared statement, mega-agent Phillip Laskoff stated “We have been retained to explore all available options relating to God’s Free Agency. Clearly, God brings a tremendous suite of abilities and adds incalculable value to any organization. Our challenge is to ascertain what...
4 tags
Housing Collapses!
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Today’s Doom Dispatch emanates from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Entomological Research Station outside of Grand Junction, CO where private contractors pursuing Government-funded research have inadvertently released genetically modified insects into the surrounding environment.
Dubbed ‘Joe Carpenters’ due to their frenetic, almost caffeinated, pace and...