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Superhyperinflation Just Around The Corner
A Looming Doom Economic Collapse BriefThe Looming Doom has learned leading experts are advising the Obama Administration that the U.S. is poised to experience the most painful economic cycle of all: the Super-Hyper-Inflation Trauma (SHIT). While there is yet slight division amongst the experts as to whether the U.S. is already in SHIT or not, once the U.S. is fully in deep SHIT, there is no quick fix. Furthermore, if the SHIT is too deep, the economy may never recover.
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In a case of Superhyperinflation, the currency devalues by half each millisecond and, while never completely reaching a zero worth, is discernable as greater than zero only to a supercomputer capable of comprehending the initially hundreds, then thousands, millions, trillions and so on of decimal places required to properly peg the currency. “It makes grocery shopping pretty dynamic”, said economist Chuck Brownlee following a speaking engagement at the recent Economics Superhyperinflation Union Conference – Kalispel Site (Econ SUCKS) held at the Montana resort last week.
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“Prices are doubling hundreds of times in the moment it takes you to blink your eyes. So let’s say you had enough currency for one hamburger patty when the cashier reached for the item to ring it. By the time the item has been entered, you no longer can even afford the strip of register tape, let alone the patty. The Standards Board already has decided to name the new denomination the “bajillion’ and for once the number will not be an objectively fixed numeral but merely an indicator of something being unaffordable to anyone or any country.”
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In one sense the timing of the SHIT is fortuitous. Merely 5 years ago the technology to process such dynamic pricing did not exist. However with the development and expansion of High Frequency Trading algorithms on the nation’s stock exchanges, the U.S. leads the world in creating the technology that enables Superhyperinflation. “The President promised the American people that he would double our exports. He’s delivering on that promise as, according to the experts, in dollar terms the value of our exports should soon be doubling millions of times per day” said an Administration spokesperson.
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Of course not everyone is convinced of the inevitability of SHIT. At the opposite end of the spectrum are the ‘deflationists’, chief among them being economist and former International Moolah Forum (IMF) chief, Joseph Bjork. “The idea that Government spending is sufficient to not only offset the credit collapse but will also lead to any sort of comprehensive SHIT is ridiculous” he said. “We’re forecasting Super Entropic Deflation (SED). At this point we’re unsure whether it will be Hyper Extreme (HE) or Super Hyper Extreme (SHE). Regardless of whether it’s HE SED or SHE SED, in either case, we can’t see SHIT.”
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When pressed, Bjork concedes a process could unfold whereby all of these dire conditions are experienced in sequence. “Well, it could be a case of HE SED, then SHE SED, and before you know it we’re in deep SHIT. That’s too awful to ponder.”
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But ponder is what we do here at The Looming Doom, and a dire sequence such as Bjork describes was foretold by our resident Doom Prophet Northstradomus. In his famous ‘Black Olive’ Quatrain, Northstradomus wrote:
The black pit is void
Until it turns to vacuum
Sucking-in all in proximity
Bring more bleu cheese stat!
Here Northstradomus predicts that a deflationary collapse will result in hyperinflation. Either that or he needs more stuffed olives for his martinis.*
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Northstradomus followed his ‘Black Olives’ Quatrain with the ‘Final Collapse’ Quatrain:
Joan – face stretched beyond recognition
Pop, pop, pop – there go the stitches
Oh my god – the collapse is horrific
Joan – why the long face?Here Northstradomus predicts Sovereign overextension as hyperinflation takes hold, accelerating national insolvency and ultimately the collapse of the industrialized nations. Or else he’s watching Joan Rivers trying to smile. In either case, it’s not pretty.
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*So take heed dear reader and prepare!
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*The Looming Doom - We bite our nails so you don’t have to!
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